You have many words to describe the same type of assertive and experienced dating players: predators, players, pick up artists (PUA), cougars.

I am not here to judge, encourage or discourage these behaviors.

Most of the pick up artists I know are really nice guys. They are extremely skilled in making a woman feel fantastic.

I know as well many cougar women over 40 who have a vibrant and loving presence.

The reason why dating a player might be a challenge for you is because your agenda and a player's agenda might be different.

The player will often feed a connection with multiple lovers and might keep you in the dark.

If you are a woman who is looking for a committed serious partner and you meet a player, chances are that you will get sexually attracted to him.

You will see the player's warning signs but often ignore them because you want to believe in your own romantic dream with that man.

Your friends will often warn you and tell you that this specific guy can't be trusted and that you should stay away from him.

Still you might decide to play because you like his fire and he knows exactly how to seduce you.

Both men and women in this pick up art might practice a lot and be really skilled at approaching and seducing you.

Again, I am not here to judge these behaviors.

The pick up skills are a set of behaviors and attitudes that every man and woman should know about.

They are related with the art of creating connection with someone you are attracted to.

It is really that simple.

It is a set of skills!

It is a power!

...And as with any power that has to do with influencing others, you need to know how to use it ethically and respectfully.

So, what does all this have to do with tantric sex?

Well... Of course, you need to know what game you want to play and especially what game your potential tantric sex partner is into.

If someone is really into pick up and you want to develop a profound sensual tantric connection with that person, these two different agendas might enter in conflict.

You are into tantric sex.

Your potential partner is into one night stands.

See the challenge?

You don't need to do something about it.

Simply keep these ideas in mind when engaging in tantric play with someone and find out if your agendas truly match.

This is one of the core challenges that might stop women or men from engaging into a tantric sex exploration.

In fact, next to their fantasies and desires, people will often have at least some fears or negative emotions associated with sex.

These can be:

• Sexual abuses from childhood or adulthood
• Past rejection experiences
• Performance anxiety
• Fears of STDs
• Moral guilt and shame associated with sex
• Judgement from others
• Etc.

No need to rush things.

Tantric energy is something you build up progressively.

So unless you already know your tantric partner really well, you can go very slowly in the beginning.

You can start with meditating together, massaging each other's bodies, practicing energy techniques like dancing and synchronized breathing.

It's essential that both you and your tantric partner feel totally safe and that your session evolves in a spirit of playfulness.

Realize as well, that you can have VERY profound sensual experiences without engaging in intimate exchange.

Steps like kissing, lingam or yoni massage or intercourse can be taken even after a few sessions with a given partner.

You don't even need to go that way, for instance if you already sexually exclusive with someone else.

Sexual craving might mislead you in this tantric sex quest.

You might believe that you need intercourse when in fact, what you want is energy connection and a lighter form of intimacy.

I guess you get it, right?

You can stay in these foreplay stages for weeks or months with someone without ever engaging in deeper intimacy.

These light intimacy experiences experiences can be totally fulfilling by themselves.

If you are not sure how far you should go, start with very small steps and keep checking with your play partner.

You will feel the energy naturally guiding you in the right direction.

Enjoy!

No need to rush things.

Tantric energy is something you build up, so unless you already know your tantric partner really well, you can go very slowly in the beginning.

You can start with meditating together, massaging each other's bodies, practicing energy techniques like dancing and synchronized breathing.

It's essential that both you and your tantric partner feel totally safe and that your session evolves in a spirit of playfulness.

Realize as well, that you can have VERY profound sensual experiences without engaging in intimate exchange.

steps like kissing, lingam or yoni massage or intercourse can be taken even after a few sessions with a given partner.

You don't even need to go that way, for instance if you already sexually exclusive with someone else.

Sexual craving might mislead you in this tantric sex quest.

You might believe that you need intercourse when in fact, what you want is energy connection and a lighter form of intimacy.

I guess you get it, right?

You can stay in these foreplay stages for weeks or months with someone with0out ever engaging in deeper intimacy.

These light intimacy experiences experiences can be totally fulfilling by themselves.

If you are not sure how far you should go, start with very small steps and keep checking with your play partner.

You will feel the energy naturally guiding you in the right direction.

Enjoy!

Shakti is life force.

It is a universal principle.

Very often Shakti is used in a more specific way to define feminine qualities.

It is in that way I use it in this article...

For men, Shakti is what you look for when you engage in connecting with a woman.

When you want to experience her femininity, what you really want to feel is this femininity inside of you.

You want to merge with her mind so that the Shakti she gives you is a direct inner experience in you.

When you make love, what you want to experience is the play of energies IN you.

The sensations trigger are chain of biochemical reactions in your brain and body.

These are not happening out there!

They are happening right in your being.

Within the tantric tradition, Shakti is life force!

She is a Goddess!

She is the consort of Shiva.

A woman will be a messenger for Shakti so that you can experience this energy in you.

Shakti triggers pleasure, delight, beauty, harmony and freedom in you.

When you touch her skin, when you feel aroused by her presence, it is because her Shakti force impacts on your being.

You feel an opening!

You feel a streaming of new energy inside of you.

Now, this Shakti force is an experience you can have in many other contexts, not just tantric exchange with a woman.

You can experience Shakti through artistic expression, singing and music, being in nature, invoking the Shakti force in you through meditation and invocations.

In fact, most of the tantric path - the full tantric path, not just tantric sex - is aimed at mastering Shakti.

It is aimed at fully understanding how to play with this energy in you and how to transmit it too.

Imagine for instance that you are in nature with a music instrument and that you are touched by the beauty of the landscape.

You play some music that expresses that beauty.

You create a piece that you play later for your friends.

By listening to this music, your friends experience the beauty you felt.

That's one example of mastering this Shakti energy.

You had an experience which was the merging of your energy with nature.

Then, you take that experience and turn this Shakti force into a refined musical piece that you use to initiate others into that experience.

In Sanskrit, nature is Prakriti!

It is essence and is simply another name for Shakti.

So... When you experience Shakti by tantric sex union with a woman, this woman is your agent and initiates a stream of Shakti energy in you.

When you are in love with her, you are in fact in love with that experience!

You are in love with the experience of Shakti because Shakti opened your heart Chakra and freed your mind.

This is simply a way of describing something which is of course much more complex.

Sometimes, we need a romantic vision of love and what I give you now is this romantic vision.

We talk about personified gods and goddesses.

In fact these are universal principles.

Your path as a man is to be able to master Shakti with or without a woman.

When you feel extremely needy sexually, it means that you feel desperation.

You get the impression that if a woman doesn't trigger this Shakti experience in you, you will have no way of accessing it by yourself.

This isn't true!

Accessing your Shakti power is a skill you can develop.

In fact, I believe this is one of the core challenges men will face in life.

When you discover how to master and activate your own Shakti flow, you enter into a whole new dimension in life.

That's a new state of unity and bliss!

You feel connected, united with the world around you and joy streams through you.

You are one!

You have many possible pathways to master this Shakti energy.

My favorites are music, singing, dancing, sensual exchange with a woman, swimming in the clear waters of a lake or a river and so many more.

Another VERY direct way to connect with Shakti and invite her in your life is to use the sanskrit mantra for Shakti:



If you simply write this mantra frequently, you will start building the connection with this Shakti power inside of you.

You will create space to start playing with this Shakti force + You will as well be inspired to create more forms associated with Shakti.

I mentioned that this article is for men but in fact it is for every human being.

For instance, some women will have very little connection with their Shakti power and could develop it way deeper.

Some men will have total mastery over their Shakti force and need to connect with their male power or Shiva power instead.

If you are in a gay relationship, roles might be redefined too.

And even for a woman who fully expresses her Shakti power, her tantric sex play with a strong male might trigger even further the flow of her Shakti force.

It might empower her even further in her femininity.

So, this is NOT just a simple model.

What I give you here are general ideas and again as with any romantic vision, what I describe is only a very simple vision of a reality which is way more complex than that.

When I describe realities, I can use my rational thinking based on facts and science.

I can as well take a more romantic or mystical approach and give you glimpses of the exact same reality.

My language here is not poetic but it is not purely rational either.

Take what you can, use it and reshape it in your own way!

I want to say again as well, that depending on the way you look at it, you can see Shakti in every aspect of human life.

There is Shakti in business, in science and politics not just in arts!

Shakti is EVERYWHERE because it is a universal principle permeating all aspects of life on this planet.

However, the refined channels of creative art and beauty can be locked or limited within lines of expression which are very rational.

For instance, when you wake up in the morning, your intention is very often to deal with very practical things.

You will take a shower, make some breakfast and your whole focus might be to get to work.

The purpose of these actions is to maintain your life + get to work to express some of your creative power and make money.

Now imagine what would happen if you wipe out this whole scenario and you replace it by something totally different.

You wake up in the morning and your purpose for the day is to generate beauty and delight.

You take a shower with your partner and take time to explore the sensuality of this moment.

After that you prepare a delicious smoothie and take very special care in giving it a delicious exotic taste.

Then, you take your music instrument and let your fingers explore the inspiration of the moment while you are surrounded by picture of dancing goddesses.

In all these activities, the purpose is not money or practical.

The purpose is to manifest beauty and delicious sensations.

This is a VERY specific quest.

The Shakti we talk about here is beauty, refinement, delight and pleasure.

When you are able to manifest these qualities at will anytime you want, you can say that you mastered the Shakti energy.

You are a Shakti Master.

Enjoy!

That's an exciting way to set up your tantric sex session.

Prepare some nice fresh raw dishes, get naked and set up your tantric space by the fire place in your living room

Or you can set up your dinner tantric sex session in your bedroom or whatever place you use as your tantric temple.

Eating naked with your partner is an incredibly sensual experience.

Prepare the space and your bodies with delicious scents and oils. Put on your tantric jewelry and whatever triggers your tantric sex energy.

You can start playing straight away while you eat which can totally multiply the pleasure you get from it.

Set it up and enjoy it!

You will be amazed by how delightful this experience can be!

Honestly? Any time can work.

For instance you can have a whole week end focused on tantric sex with in depth exploration of your new skills...

Or you can have a morning quick energetic tantric session before you get up...

Or you can have a 15 min lunch tantric sex break.

Or have a whole evening dedicated to tantric pleasure.

All of these options do work, so need to limit yourself.

Now, I believe that amongst ALL these possible choices, the one that suits best our natural rhythms is evening 8-10pm.

You don't have to stretch your session for 2 hours of course. You can have for instance a 30 or 60 min tantric play session around that time of the evening.

If you want to develop your tantric sex skills, I believe that's the best time to practice.

A 2 hours space gives you plenty of time to dive into it.

The evening creates a refined and romantic energy.

Lower the lights, uses candles and incense.

You can really set it up like a daily tantric play meeting with your partner.

Enjoy!

May you shine with infinite love and pleasure!

You are the goddess of delight and I am one with your beauty and infinite radiance!

Your bliss is a delicious gift that fills my heart and my whole being!