July 25, 2009

Don't fall into the fanaticism or high expectation trap - ARTICLE

Tantric sex comes from a place of freedom, not demand or pressure.

Life is already perfect the way it is now.

There is no distant goal to achieve.

You are already holy, sacred and totally fulfilled as a human being.

Tantric sex simply ads flavor, color, pleasure, fun, delight, bliss... to what already exists.

Feeling pressured is a massive turn off to anyone.

If you are in a couple, you must always start from a place of total mutual respect and freedom for each other's choices and preferences.

The fact that you practice tantric sex doesn't give you the right to tell anyone what to do (unless it is simply agreed mutual exploration within a tantric sex session).

What I mean is that putting pressure on your partner will most likely kill the magic instantly.

That's not the way to go at all.

Your partner might not be in the mood or have other priorities.

That's ok! Don't force them!

If you feel that you want to go deeper in tantric sex exploration and are not sure how your partner feels about it, the best is to sit down and have a quick chat about it...

You can say something like: "I feel there are a few tantric sex techniques I would love to explore and was wondering if it is an experience you would like to share too..."

This is an open freeing discussion where you give each other full space to chose what you want.

If your partner is not into these practices at all, you can try to take very small steps together, do some self exploration or find another potential tantric partner.

Yes, tanric sex can be a major life changing set of practices you want to bring into your life.

Yes, it could be a deal breaker in a relationship if you are full on into it and your partner is not.

This type of fundamental difference of views often happens in couples.

Other similar examples could be having children or not, where you want to live, key life style choices, life vision, etc.

When you face a dead end in your couple, always ask yourself the question: is this a deal breaker? Does it justify us splitting up over this?

If it does, then this must not stop your from expressing mutual respect towards each other. This diffrence of persepective is all it is: a difference between you and them.

It is ok to be different! Not everyone needs to merge within a given stream.

As I mentioned earlier, tantric sex might be suitable for maybe 10% of people.

It doesn't mean that the other 90% don't have tantric sex potential of course!

It simply means that tantric sex is not for them for reasons like lack of need or interest, other priorities, other belief system, lack of openess, other sexual preferences, lack of time, etc...

Respect their choice at 100% and simply be free to make YOUR own choices too.

Remember that nobody owns another human being and the planet is a much better place when the only thing we truly control is our own life.

To your Tantra!